i feel sick today.
like, very sick.
sighs.

i like that quaker granola bar!
super nice. :D

went to food festival yesterday.
got the snow ice thing i like!
YUMYUM! ^^

might wanna go today.
but feeling sick .. x_x
rawrr.

anyways.
i did last year's mid-semester econs paper already.
super easy, to me.
did all almost without haven't to refer to anything at all.
so, should be okay. :D
yup, planning to get .. 95% ?
-hopes-

tomorrow got to buy cake and celebrate the may babies in my class.
heh. -thinksofacaketobuy.

naruto tonight again!
i hope. :D

been telling myself to blog.
but there don't seem to be anything important to blog about.
so i used my time to watch naruto instead.

i watched naruto the whole of yesterday!
until i fell asleep on my bed using my mummie's lappie.
=x ohwells. bored what!

after this week would be mid-semester tests already.
i haven't started studying yet. :(
every of my papers are from 0900 to 1000.
starting with microecons, principles of management, computer skills and application, and ending with business accountings 1.

i feel toooo lazy to start now.
i can always start the day before right?
with the bonus that i'm one subject ahead of my cohort.
i shouldn't be worrying .......
but i am.
rawrr. i'm so scared lah.

i don't think i can achieve my ideal gpa. :(


anyways.
i need to go mount elizabeth by tuesday.
i wanna cut my hair soon. :(
i wanna sing, but i started eating chocolates again today. =.=

life sucks without chocolate!
RAWR.

it's the end of tuesday already!

hmm. monday wasn't much.
had school from 11-6pm, that's all.
ate dinner @ hongkong cafe with hiro.
yippie!
got something from 77th street for mark.

walked with mark to school today.
passed him his stuff.
he arh, so lazy. =.=
go library sit awhile also happy.
lol, so we went for a while.
after which, we headed for lessons.

micro econs was .. as usual, not that interesting.
i mean, i don't know what information to write.
cause i already know it. =.=
i mean, i always tend to note down important points.
but econs .. like nothing important to me. bleh.

after that, we went to mensa2 to eat.
junhui, ciu fen, meng yee and me went to vote!
:DD

business accountings tutorial was combined with that same noisy class.
though this time our tutor was the one tutoring,
still they were very noisy.
rawrr! i think if their class got 20 people,
18 are noisy, and only 2 are quiet. -.-
super off balance. rawrr.

hm, i settled the econs groupings and topics chosen le.
collected some class funds also le.
so can go buy cake and celebrate for the may babies!
which includes, mengyee, justin and hongxiang!

hanged out with the guys for a while.
then brought some of them to the cyber centre to vote.
hehh. then the rest went off.
so i taught justin microecons outside the library.
after which i headed for plaza singapura to meet .. =.= cassandra.
she damn fierce i tell you.
she call me, the first thing she said was
"where are you?"
in the super .. erm, hostile voice.
hahaha. i damn scared. =.=

but yah, she's not THAT fierce.
just abit .. =.= no manners!
HAHAHA.
she arh, dumb dumb de.
loll! should read her chinese notes, SUPER FUNNY.
ban men nong fu; don't haolian in front of the professional.
i read le wanna peng le.
i mean, correct lah.
but the way she phrased it, super funny to me.
hahahas.

then after that eric came.
i tell you, i super pissed with his friend.
as cass put it, super xl.
but yah, walao. he think he very smart. -.-
then eric another one.
i saw his maths paper 1 for mid year.
first question: 0.68 as a fraction in its lowest terms.
and HE LEFT THE QUESTION BLANK.
..
totally no comments.


checked out a jacket @ puremilk with hiro.
they only have size s left for black.
and it's just nice for me.
i wanted something looser. =.=
so nevermind.

ate beancurd! :D
after that went back by cab.
yupp!

gonna watch naruto!
tomorrow school starts at ONE.
^^

i have met two very 'interesting' guys in this life of mine.
ronald, lance chew jie yong and mlyf.

and i have realised that the former doesn't deserve any sympathy,
none at all.

taking parts of the story and making them look like one whole,
and being able to convince the rest that all is true.
i'm amazed by your ability.
making yourself look so wanted by everyone,
like they so want to be acknowledged by you,
and treating all of them like crap.

it's not my fault andrea added me.
i only visited her profile.
and it's only right that i asked her why she added me.
just that along with that, i asked her if she's fine and stuff.
it was only out of mere concern, is that wrong?

vengence, revenge.
they don't exist in my life,
only yours.

compelling re-entry to your life?
i wouldn't have been bothered with you if you didn't contact me first.
looks like being overly-concerned with someone is wrong.
when you contacted me,
i thought you were in a really bad situation.
cause you would never do so if you weren't feeling that bad.
looks like i was wrong, so wrong.

disgruntled over not being able to retain the friends i stole from you?
1. i don't remember stealing any friends from you.
2. i don't remember being disgruntled over not being able to retain any of my friends.
3. basically, i don't even remember anything about you.

i asked you to get back together with me?
did you mean that pamela-you-me incident?
haa. go ahead and say whatever you want lah.

and you are not my ex-boyfriend,
neither was i your ex-girlfriend.
i'll feel utterly disgraceful if i am.


so why are you so upset now?
har.
cause you wanted to meet that day and i didn't respond to it?
cause in the end, you told me you couldn't make it and ask to turn up at your house if i want and i didn't respond?


how does the above paragraph feel?
how does it feel for someone to assume everything about you thinking that he/she is very great?

that's how you've been all these while.


i swear upon my life, my heart and my voice.
i would never be bothered with you again.

har, i'm becoming more and more like a whore.
that's what i get for replying you even when hiro scolded me.

you are such a walking billboard for birth control.

today was such a long day.
but fun, and meaningful! ((:

so i went to school for my dance orientation today.
met wenjie and we went up to the student lounge.
sat together with martin and group.

when orientation officially started,
we got separated into 4 groups;
orange, yellow, blue, green.

had a series of icebreakers.
haha, my group people abit more shy than the rest of the groups.
but they're cute lah.
nice people. :D
anyways, i think that the other groups are crazy because alot of ophix-ians among them. =.=
rofl. =x

yah, after which we had to choreograph a dance for a chosen song.
ours was .. like a boy by ciara?
yeah. not my kind of song. x_x
and was .. just tough. rawr.

after that, we had water games!
woohoo! was SOO wet!
i tell you. so much wetter than foc!
hahaha. but so fun lah. :D
some stupid guy keep saying i heavy,
when he's SO MUCH heavier than me!
rawrr!! i think he's .. hui bing?
eh, i don't know eh. x_x
sorry. :(

after which, we were supposed to be practising,
but zihui, frankie and me went to the sandwich vending machine to get food!
i was starving. :(
we took .. pretty long. ><
and then right, when we went up and performed right.
i thought it was only a rehearsal. x_x
so i stoned there and started laughing.
after that i was telling everyone
"when we actually do the thing right .."
then after doing that quite a few times,
someone said that was the right thing.
and i totally .. sianed diao. =.=

crap. i bet i created a damn bad impression of myself in front of everyone. :(
sorry.. i really didn't know. :(

anyways. after that, some of us went for dinner! :D
sat outside kfc at tampines there.
talk talk talk.
so funn!!

martin's g9 is so nice. :D
so many nonsensen, but so fun to be with them luh.
hahaha.

there were jokes and everything going around.
hahaha. super funny!
although i felt super tired .. x_x

ohwells. :D

hehh.
nicholas so[?] jun wei is damn cute!
hahahaha.
when he does that .. erm, cheek thing!
rofl, super super cute!
and hor, i totally don't believe it.
he's TWENTY year old.
ohmygosh.
he's so small in size,
but his cheeks damn meaty!
hahahaha. omgomg.
so cute please!

and then, frankie is a nice dude.
hahaha. he has such a boyboy face lah.
AND HE CAN WHINE!
super cute. hahaha.

jj! i keep snatching his cap from him.
then he let me use. haha.
so nice!
and the thing is he finds me familiar.
he's john paul's friend.
hahaha.

may! damn easygoing.
dancing queen of foc'07/08.
hahaha. part of martin's g9.

james and kaiwen!
SUPER DUPER LAME!
walao, i wanna slap them le. =x
they make me feel stupid.
keep "if the light reflect to kfc, then to him, then to me, who's next?!"
SO STUPID.
next time i tell you guys the answer.
reveal the answer in public not fun le.
but yah, SUPER stupid!
so i told kaiwen, next time i wanna look for lame stuff to irritate my friend,
i sure call you and ask you for it.
rofl. :D
ohh! and kaiwen is NICE!
you know why?
cause when i took off his cap,
he never got angry.
SO NICE!! :DD

hahaha.
but i enjoyed the jokes part alot.
quite funny some of them. :D

actually, got another malay guy.
but i seriously, for some reason, cannot remember his name now.
damn. i feel so mean!
sorry!! :(
but he's nice also! :DD


aiya. actually i very tired now.
but i wanna watch naruto. =.=
so dumb right.
okay, nevermind.

take cares people! :D
enjoy your weekend~

nothing went right today.
from tutors, to project groupings, to transport, etc.
even at the end of the day,
something had to go wrong.
rawrr!
bad day today.
nevermindd.
cheerups.

anyway. i think someone who doesn't like me is in dance.
and now i'm so worried.
sighs.

but i shouldn't be worried right?
like abit .. redundant.

instead, i think i should be proving to everyone who knows me
that i'm not like whatever the rumors are saying, if there are, right?
crap, i don't know.......

there's just something wrong with me these days.
i think i need to reflect more on my behaviour.
alot alot alot more than i am doing currently.
i'm abit .. turned off by the way i am now.
i don't know why, but i am.
so grossed out.

shouldn't i be more optimistic?
shouldn't i be more patient?
shouldn't i be more caring?
shouldn't i be more loving?

crap. i've decreased in all my strengths
and increased in all my weaknesses.
shouldn't it be the opposite? :(

no, i hate you lynette ng qijun.
bloody hell sucker.
rawr. bitch!


it seems like i'm trying to hide/escape.
from what, i don't know.
but it's so much to the extent that i'm changing so drastically,
it's freaking me out.

unspoken by words,
but seen through the eyes.

we're having ccn day tomorrow.
ccn stands for ..
eh, i not sure. hahaha.
will blog again when i check it out in school later. =x

hehh. rushed to school today!
was too focused on watching naruto,
and too engrossed.
so i couldn't bear to leave for school. =.=
but no choice!
my first lesson is apel1.
rawrr. must go cause attendance is taken. x_x

yupp. cabbed to school.
saw meizhen and vanessa on the way.
went for tutorial.
didn't do much.
had to do some .. erm, whatever.
yeah. but to me, it was quite personal.
so i didn't wanna say much,
nor show anyone.
hahaha. that stupid raqin keep wanting to snatch my paper.
RAWR!
for me, this kind of answer reveals a very personal me.
i don't like to show people. x_x
cause i feel that they wouldn't believe.
i rather them find out for themselves how i'm really like. (:

then the group of girls went to eat cup noodles!
chilled out there. crappy luh.
hahaha. i like my classmates actually. (:

had pom tutorial.
hmm, have i ever mentioned i don't really like her working style?
yeah. i think she's nice and stuff.
but i don't really like the way she tries to .. hm, control us?
aiya, don't know what word to use.
but i just don't really like it.
the way she relates to us.
blahhhhh!

anyway.
after which, i went to the dance noticeboard to check.
and yes! i got through the dance audition.
hahaha. but pretty dumb i feel.
there were 109 people who got into the hiphop dance category.
and then they stated that the first 80 who paid for the course fees at one-stop centre would get in.
i mean, damn dumb right?
make it sound so first-come-first-serve,
which i feel is totally nonsensical lah.

anyway. went to find grace after that.
hanged out with her.
went to far east.
ate fried mars bar!
yumyumm. :D
then ate the mee sua from the shilin[?] taiwan snack.
after which we made our way to heeren.
went to 77th street.
bought this rubber wristband and the cloth one.
then saw this guy vest.
i swear i thought that grace looks damn nice in it.
but she said i look nicer in it. -.-
wanted to share the cost with her,
so we can take turns to use.
but she don't wanna get. x_x

grace, are you planning to get the thing? :D

hahaha. so i resorted to this idea of asking her everyday.
lol. so &$#)#@$* right.
nevermind, it's okay. hahaha.

anyway.
now i'm home.
sweaty and smelly.
gonna bathe then watch naruto! :D

takecaressssssssssssssssssssssssss! ^^

yesterday night i didn't touch the computer at all.
cause i thought i should sleep early and wake up early today,
since i start school at 1pm.

then i did my tutorials.
and started reading the book i borrowed from the library;
i miss you i miss you.
soo nice!
ohmygosh. the writer writes well please.
okay lah, maybe not.
but to each his own!
i like. :D

got abit addictive.
so i slept at about 12 midnight.
yupp.

gonna watch my naruto now~
:D

went out with darlings yesterday! (:
along with matthew and roy.
hahaha.
i was late luh. =x

we went to heeren.
then went to cine.
i bought a pair of shoes!
i feel super &$#().
cause i think i really overspending. x_x
$119. rawr.

then we went to that hongkong cafe to eat.
quite nice. haha. :D
then went back to heeren to get emily's shoes.


hmm.
nothing much luh.
we just chilled around and stuff.
haha.


in lab now. rawr.
got to go! (:

yesterday was damn tired after i reached home.
so i didn't blog. haha.

yesterday i didn't go for my csa lecture. x_x
cause i waited 30minutes for a cab,
but to no avail. x_x
i would have been late if i went,
so i just forgone the idea of attending lecture.
called grace, and met her.

did my pom project's brief writeup.
so proud of myself!
i think it sounds so good. :D

after that played badminton with mark, junhui, junhui's friend (ben) and ben's friend.
haha. i damn suck please.
they are all school team players.
i down there, only noob. x_x
haha. but nevermind.
quite fun luh.
grace also came.
played with her for a while also. (:

had lunch with grace, mark, emily, emilla, claudine, matthew and roy @ itas.

then went for my 3hours 30minutes long of pom lecture. x_x
wah, super boring and tiring.
i think i almost died please.
hahaa.

a classmate of mine asked me during the lecture whether i'm a bisexual not.
rofl. cause i've been saying this girl cute that girl cute.
so funny lah.
he said the guys were wondering if i'm a bisexual. -.-
then after that, he asked me if i'm a virgin.
i think i almost screamed at him during lecture. lol.
cause he said, most bisexuals ain't virgins.
so stereotyping right.

anyway.
yesterday was abit irritated over some stuff.
whatever it is, thanks to junhui for helping me submit the documents to our pom tutor. (:

rushed for dance audition after that.
didn't dare to register lah. x_x
kept calling ronald and martin.
none of them answered my call. -.-
until this girl from kaistor, audrey, saw me and we talked.
only to realised ronald was in audition already. -.-

anyway. so yah, i went audition alone.
there was this other girl called jannah, from kaistor also.
hmm. routine was short, and i stood there and bounced during freestyle.
rofl.
when i went out of the room,
ronald's first reaction was "don't talk to me anymore."
LOL. cause i never dance freestyle.
then this other guy i don't know was like
"why you anyhow dance!"
then i was like, how come you know i can dance. -.-
then he said "can see what."
aiya, nevermind.
don't get in then don't get in.
at least i tried. rofl.

hmm. congrats to martin for getting through audition! (:
and, all the best to wenjie! i hope you get in. ^^

my sweet friends waited for me. (:
emilla, mark, matthew and roy.
thanks! (:
we went to century square to eat.
yupp.

after that met hiro.
he passed me royce chocolates again!
yay! thanks! ^^

and then he sent me home.
this bus uncle was super .. no comments.
i was so pissed with him, i think i almost wanted to scold him.
walao, he make me stand there wait for all the passengers to board the bus
before he's willing to check whether my ezlink is valid or not.
what the hell?!
wait until no seats somemore.
then i was like superrrr tired lah. x_x


today transferred loads of songs into my phone.
happy happy. :D
then met hiro and his mum @ bugis.
went to eat at some japanese restaurant.
but their service totallyy sucks.
seriously. i've never seen such unmotivated waiters/waitresses
who doesn't take initiatives at all
and you have to call them 3 times to get their attention.
wah, seriously.

then hiro's mum went to m1 shop to pay bills.
after which we headed for cold storage to buy some stuff.
they don't sell the marshmallows i like anymore! :(

anyway. we passed by this stall by the name of bridal concept.
then hiro's mum was just looking at the wedding photos.
they talked between themselves.
then after that, the lady asked
"you two getting married?"
-.- you two referring to hiro and me.
then i down there, laugh until buay tahan.
loll. i heard from hiro's mum last time people even ask whether hiro's mum and hiro couple not.
LOL.
super lol. hahahaha.

yup. so many funny questions nowadays.
haha. and then i'm going to emily's place tomorrow!
with all my darlings, excluding mark.
cause he's a guy. so poor thing! haha.

yepp!
take cares please! :D

matsui toshihiro queued four hours at donut factory just to get donuts for lynette.

thankyou! (:

made me feel so bad, but so touched!

i hope no one in class dislikes me yet.
..


anyway.
today, for no reason, i felt &$#)@#$ tired.
so i kept going back to sleep.
in the end, i woke up at 1212.
freaked out totally!
so i rushed to bathe and stuff.
took a cab to school.

apel was nothing much.
we finally saw our careperson smile!
hahas. and she gave us prizes for some stuff.
i got chocolate oreos!
my first time eating it.
quite nice actually. (:

had an hour break.
we went to cheers!
some ate cup noodles, the rest just junk food.
haha. quite cute luh.

then had pom tutorial.
had our groupings;
my group consists of mengyee, beeyan, juhuan, sheamson and hongxiang!
haha. they're nice! (:

took cab to hiro's place.
yup, that's about it.

going to have dinner now.
loves! (:

what does blogger still look screwed to me? o.o

anyway.
i just came back from school not very long ago.
not because i had lessons or whatever,
but because i had something to settle.
yeah ..

today i walked with mark to school.
haha, we reached school at like 0830 please.
then went to the library and slack.

had microecons lecture.
wah, i really never listen throughout eh.
demand and supply.
learn until don't wanna learn le.
haha. so i did other stuff like,
talking to keith, wenjie and friend,
tried doing my accountings tutorial,
tried asking them if they understood,
etc etc etc.

so basically, i wasted 2 hours of my life just like that.
but nevermind. haha.

then hor, i wanted to go mensa2 to eat during my break!
but my class wanted to go bizpark. :(
so damn sad.
i called claudine!
then she accompanied me. :D
so sweet eh.
hahaha.

on my way to my next lesson, which was accountings tutorial,
met alan and mark.
..

for some reason,
i felt .. scared.
and it kinda turned my day around.

my class was wondering what happened to me.

met grace and i crashed her consumer behaviour lecture.
then she never bring notes also.
don't know go for what. -.-
she zhao-ed halfway with me.

then went to design, thinking kaistor lunch was there.
but no lah, was at bizpark.
so headed there.
but there were barely anyone lah.
just chrystal, hakim, edwin and alan.
walao. so i headed to mensa2 with grace to find marilyn.
i ate so much i tell you! =x
i swear i'm gonna get damnn fat.
so fat i can't dance this friday.
therefore i'm screwed.

after that went to bedok interchange to complete my medical checkup
and collect the report.
after which i went home, deciding to dump my bag there before leaving for school again.
reached home and i felt so ..
so damn tired.
not just physically.
like, mentally and emotionally.
tried resting on my bed.
then i started feeling really sick.
like feverish, heavy head, wanting to vomit, etc.
and then, i just felt .. scared.
so freaking scared.

went to school.
went cheers to get some sweets for jack.
went library to pass to him.
then he accompanied me around and stuff.
really thanks alot jack!
because he's got an examination tomorrow lah.
but he still accompanied me.
so like, damn sweet please! (:

then i saw lou lin.
so talked to her until i met caroli and mark.

basically. this whole thing of wanting to do some clarification ..
didn't really work out for me.
but i did it helped caroli.
at least she's able to get it off her mind now.
so that's like something good. (:
but yeah .. i just felt that i created more .. enemies?
sighs. i hate the feeling when i know people will hate/dislike me.
makes me feel so .. disgusted with myself.
but hey, that doesn't mean i regretted what i said.
i've told no lies, and i can say it confidently. (:

this kind of thing. lie for what sia.
i don't quite understand.
sighs, nevermind.

there's nothing i can do anyway, right?

caroli was damn sweet!
she sent me this really sweet sms luh.
so like, totally thanks! ^^
-hugs.

and then i realised that stupid ronald,
some guy i met in audition,
is in the same lecture group as me,
has been seeing me around in school,
but has NEVER EVER said hi to me!
what the hell right!
rawrr.


lyn wants tomorrow to be a better day!
and it will be a better day! (:

i want to be remembered as the girl who always smile. (:

wah. blogger looks screwed to me now.

test test.

--- -------

okays. no problem in blogging.
otherwise i wouldn't bother. x_x
cause yesterday my whole entry was gone when i clicked "publish".

anyway.
let me blog about yesterday first.

hmm. yesterday i went to eat pepper lunch at dhoby ghaut xchange with hiro!
quite nice luh!
hiro "cooked" for me though. haha.
that thing super hot lah.
i burnt myself. :(

then we headed to suntec!
haha, super funny.
for some reason, we two super hyper.
then laugh all the way to royce.
bought my favourite chocolate! :D
so happy that it's actually for sale here in singapore.
now hiro doesn't have to travel to japan to get for me.
not like he will but that's not the point.
hahaha. now i can get it as and when i like!
so i'm super happy. :D

today ..
met mark and roy during my one hour break!
ate lunch at mensa2.
wah, i like the vegetarian food there!
you know why?
cause their noodles don't have vegetables!
the beansprout or something.
hahaha. then it's especially tasty.
maybe cause i don't have to spend half the time digging those eww stuff out.

oh, did i mention that mark and emilla are both anti-veggies as well?
hahaha. like totally, YAY!
i got company. :D

my csa tutorial was cancelled!
cause my tutor's husband was sick or something.
then she had to take care of the family.
so sad please. ><
but hor! good also.
cause like that we got no tutorial. =x
so mean. >.< !

so i ended lessons early today.
was supposed to meet mark at the library lah.
cause he zhao-ed his lecture.
haha. but i happened to meet lou lin.
so was just doing some chatting.

mark the gl wants to meet caroli and me tomorrow to ..
erm, clarify stuff.
which, frankly speaking, i think there's no need for it.
just going because .. erm, to accompany caroli or something like that.
also cause it's like so late. :(
8pm; cause caroli has touch rugby. rawr!

met mark, emilla, roy and haziq at the library.
hahaha. MY PICTURE IS THERE!
at some display section lah. level 3!
loll. a photo of my smiling when i was blindfolded.
was taken during that dancing queen event lah.
so paiseh please.
i don't think that photo looks like me though.
so people who don't know me, see the photo also cannot recognise me de.
i hope. x_x
maybe only people who knows me. hahaha.
but the shirt that i wore when the photo was taken is like the only and only in tp.
ohwells, doesn't matter. :D

we went to itas to eat, supposedly.
then emily wanted to eat at design.
so off we headed for design.

hmm. eat le emily went off.
then mark and me stayed to accompany emilla
while she waited for this tutor.
wanted to go to the medical centre to complete my test and collect my medical report.
but i think too late le, then they don't want.
so i think tomorrow then i go.
went to macdonalds to find mark and his friends.
i did my business accountings tutorial while he was teaching his friend history.
haha, i tell you, he makes a good and funny teacher.
at least that's how i feel lah. lol.

after which, sweet mark wanted to send me home but i declined the offer lah.
i don't like people sending me home.
i think very troublesome. haha.
so far, the only person i allow to always send me home is jack.
like, not even hiro lah. haha.

anyway. got home.
and since then, i've been very smiley.
don't know why.
but probably because i feel very blessed with my darlings and everyone else around me. ((:

oh yah, for some reason, ronald messaged me.
i was totally shocked please.
but glad lah.
i think i'm so happy with life now,
i can't really be bothered with what happened in the past.
i'll welcome another friend back into my life with open arms. :D

oh, and another ronald is agreeing to help me during dance audition!
haha. cause i paiseh to dance freestyle.
alone somemore!
want my life. rawr!
so he agreed to come up with a routine with me
and dance the freestyle with me!
haha. so nice please!

and some random girl by the name of joycelyn messaged me.
she's some girl who got my number when i did some survey back then during orientation in school.
then she's like asking me out for sauna and dinner.
abit .. weird. haha.
ohwells.

so i've got to go get my medical report tomorrow.
have kaistor lunch at 1500, design school.
and then meet caroli and mark at 2000, venue unknown.

wednesday, i supposedly have a dance audition.
but that's because i signed up for the wrong category. haha.

thursday, i have to accompany my darlings for some rock climbing trials, i think.
no idea, cause i ain't gonna climb.
just there to chill out with them. ((:

friday, i've got my audition at 6pm.
and i remember i've got some other stuff ..
can't remember though.
haha.

and the joycelyn girl is asking me out next tuesday!

yups. so i guess that's about my plan so far lah.
:DD

take cares everyone!
take cares claudine and emilla!
don't stay sick for too long..
-hugs. (:

we had darlings' outing!
i swear i enjoyed it. :D

okay, we met at dhoby ghaut mrt station.
emily, claudine and emilla there already when i reached.
and FOUR GIRLS had to wait for ONE GUY.
imagine how big shot mark was.
hahaha.
it's okay!
we still love mark! :D

anyways.
we walked around plaza singapura.
then we decided to head to secret recipe for lunch.
but it was packed luh.
so we headed to swensens instead. (:
took quite long in deciding what to order.
then here and there ..
we left the place after eating.

we went to the arcade!
nothing much lah. haha.
claudine played houseofthedead4,
and emily and mark played timecrisis2.
then we wanted to go far east plaza.
walked past istana park and then we decided to camwhore!
hahaha.
damn funny luh the process.
i totally love my darlings please! ((:

then mark had to leave to meet his secondary school friends. :(
the girls headed for far east! (:
we ate ice cream at gelare
and ate fried mars bar!
WAH. i tell you!
the fried mars bar damnnn nice!
but super heaty please.
but still!! super nice! :D

then we bought our 'symbol'.
darlings' clan symbol. hahaha.
just a leather band[?] around the wrist.
yepps. claudine and emilla got the black one,
and emily and me got the brown one.
mark wasn't there.
so we got the black one for him.

then we shopped.
i tell you, emily is the shopping queen.
she see, she like,
she just buy.
walao eh. worse than me please!
hahaha.

ohyah. then you know at far east got the turkish ice cream thing?
we went to buy!
i tell you, i laugh until i landed on the ground.
hahaha. super funny.
and i totally admire that guy.
i mean, he's got to do this to everyone.
just goes to show his attitude in service is damn good. ((:

after which, we went to macdonalds at lido to chill.
yeeping came to join us!
haha. she's damn cute. ^^
and you know, she queued at donut factory for two and a half hours.
omg. x_x
just for a dozen of donuts.
like totally crazy please.
i think i would die if i were her.
blehh.

then claudine left for home.
yeeping left to meet her boyfriend.
two em`s plus me headed for dxo.

clubbing wasn't that fun.
i was only entertained by two things.
1. there was this really cute guy lah.
but i couldn't find him in the end. hahaha.
2. cause i was wearing white.
then their lightings will make my top appear blue!
hahaha. i love it please.
all the people wearing white there look so bright!
SO NICE!! ^^
i'm gonna wear white if i ever go club again. :D

yeah, those are the only factors.
haha. besides that, it was boring to dance like that lah!
and i don't understand how people can go 'wild'.
enlighten me please.
lol.

then i went to meet hiro!
cause emily had to go already.
emilla went with her friend.
hungry me was left with no one to eat with.
so i went to find hiro
then we ate some quite nice noodles! (:
it's like, ABALONE noodles. haha.
we ate one bowl each, and two drinks lah.
like $12.40 already. lol.
nevermind, not i pay. HAHA. =xx

yupp. this is an account of my very much enjoyed day with my darlings!
which means that, we should have this more often!
make it a monthly basis thing please.

till then girls,
i love you very much!
((: -hugs.


emily.
trust, once broken, is hard to be given to the same person again. but whatever it is, i hope your heart will take you to where you really wanna belong to. since you still do, i suppose just that little hope in your heart will grant you strength to accept him once again. i cannot do much, but know that i'll support your every decision. (: iloveyoubabe. -hugs.

emilla.
to someone like him, it's not quite worth all those tears you're shedding. i believe you will have the strength to move on. he shouldn't be doing this to you. blaming you and everything when he isn't even clear of the situation himself. moreover, he is your supposedly best friend. i hope you can see that, even though it might be your fault that you never told him the truth, but i think you have every right to keep such a truth to yourself. i'll always be here to lend you a listening ear and a shoulder to cry on. (: iloveyoudarling. -hugs.

mark.
haha. for you, nothing much. i just wanna thank you for tolerating the emo girls today. and thinking of ways to help us and stuff. it was really sweet of you, and i believe all the girls see and appreciate it. (: i'm quite glad that you're part of us. ^^ loveyadude! -hugs.

claudine.
boo. you also nothing much. =p like nothing to tell you. but feels so weird not to leave a shoutout to you! hmm. don't be too stressed up by your tutorials and family aight. cheer up more luh! (: i know you will say you're okay and stuff, but yah. i still feel that you're stressed. so yups! take cares. can always talk to me yah. i know the bible pretty well as well. hahaha. iloveyou! -hugs.

wah, this is like my fourth entry today.

anyway.
thanks hiro for that really sweet comment. (:

always & forever.
i will be here for you.

it is my promise to you,
for as long as i live.

you know,
i share your feelings.
being emo and happy that you are at the same time.
that's how i've always wanted to feel.
but i stopped myself after awhile.
after i was with you.
because for all these 5 years that i've known you.
you never seemed to be truly happy about anything at all.
and i wanted to give my best to you.
so that you could feel that this world,
you see, isn't that bad afterall. (:
for the past 137 days,
although i can't say i've put in my very best efforts to make you happy.
but i did try. i really did.

shan said this to me once before,
after day 137, and it goes a little something like this.

if life is just everything you want it to be, then wouldn't it be boring ? (:

try to look at things from a brighter point of view.
maybe one day, you wont like to feel emo anymore ! ^^
and if there's anything i can do,
r any way that i can help.
please tell me.

'cause for you,i'd give my life, my heart and my soul.
just to see the smile on your face. (:

ily,anf.
no gimmicks, no lies.
all from the bottom of my heart,
its true. (:

that's .. really sweet.
thanks. -hugs.


i reached school at about 1pm today.
met yeeping, claudine, emilla, mark and roy for lunch @ itas.
heard some other shocking stuff again.
trusted two wrong people already.
.. rawr.

nevermind ..
believing the best in others will always be what i believe in. (:

principles of management lecture lasted from 2pm to about 3.20pm.
i graded the lecturer and failed him. =x
he totally lost us at the beginning lah!
for like 40 precious minutes please!

after that, some .. awkward stuff happened.
then i went with zixin to tampines mall to get some stuff.
after which, i met jack on bus 69.
we went to bedok,
bought some stationeries and etc.
then headed for bedok library to study.

i did my pom tutorial 2 le.
did a mindmap of lecture 2.
then i went to get books to read.
and then i tripped upon this book,
entitled i miss you i miss you.
i read the gist at the back of the book
and it totally touched me.

"Now it's April and two girls named Cilla and Tina are home at Rosengarden (Rose Manor). They are identical twins and will turn fourteen this summer. But Cilla won't be there - soon she's going to be killed in a traffic accident. That's the most horrible thing that's ever happened to me, and I'm telling it right away because this isn't meant to be an exciting story with a clever ending that has to be kept secret until the last page. This is about Tina, who was left behind and had to try to stand up straight and keep her balance in life without Cilla. And the one who's telling this story is me, Tina, but I know I can't manage to talk about 'me,' so I'll say 'her' instead."

so .. sad.

"She runs off, finds Lotta and Sandra, leaves the hospital - away, away, she never wants to go there again, never as long as clocks go forward, never as long as time and life can't be turned back."

tell me you feel the sadness she felt.
because i kept wanting to cry while reading it!


okays. i really feel like blogging.
but my eyelids are like super heavy. x_x
i've been straining my eyes since i started using the computer 3 hours back.
rawr.

going out with darlings tomorrow!
so yah, should be quite fun. (:

for the past five years,
was i really never truly happy? ..

hellos. it's me again. (:

i know this is the third continuous post i'm writing at such an hour.
but i can't help it.
i just feel like typing on and on about how i feel.

i know you've heard these words a hundred other times before
and you've been hurt and so your heart has chose to close the door
love broke your heart and brought you lies

look in my eyes
you'll see a love that's deep and true
tender and strong and all for you
you can trust this love
honest, that's the honest truth

that's part of the lyrics of a song entitled "from the heart".
the chorus is only average to me,
but i love the verse.
meaningful, and the melody is beautiful.


i miss singing.
i haven't sang for one month already.
sighs.
and the thing is, i'm still not bothering to take care of my voice.
i'm still eating chocolate, junk food, ice cream, fried food, etc etc.
what if i can never sing again? ..
crap.

did i tell you guys i love the duet between vivian hsu and gary cao?
"i still believe" - it's just beautiful to my ears.
the lyrics, the melody, the voice.
they all harmonises.
such a nice combination.


everyone, take a look at your surroundings.
notice more of the people around you.

recently, i've been having friends who have problems in one way or another.
but yet, they never fail to carry that contagious smile on their faces.
my heart goes out to them,
and at the same time, i totally admire them for the optimism[?].
that's not the right word, but nevermind.


i hope i can rest well tonight.
i've been having dreams&nightmares.
but i never seem to be able to remember them.
the past few days have been .. a roller coaster ride for me.
it's kinda taking a toll on me,
and wiping the smile off my face.

gambette lynette! ((:

i can't wait for SU to start!
just wanna fill myself with activities.


by the way, i think my class people are pretty nice. (:
and i still owe them this entry that's in my drafts!
>< i hope none of them reads my blog.
though i already know junhui does. hahaha.

okay.
this is such a random post.
but heck, look at the hour.

take cares! (:

by the way.
jack, i'm sorry about that day yah.
i know you cared, that's all.
thanks. (:

for some reasons, i've been feeling emo these days.
and even though it's all over already,
i still feel like staying in this emo mood.

when i get emo, i like to write alot of stuff.
that's when all my inspirations come.
and actually, i feel happy when i emo.
sounds so oxymoron right.
but after writing all those stuff,
i'll look at myself and say something like
"good job lyn."

i know it sounds so wrong,
but i get a sense of achievement out of writing something depressing.

now that there's nothing much to emo about,
i feel quite lost about life again.
where is my next direction?


ohyah.
did i mention that one of my ex-classmate told my eyecandy that she didn't really like me back in secondary school due to blah blah blah.
i don't know what the blah blah blah is lah.
but all i know,
i feel .. sad, and pathetic.

sigh.

i swear i've tried.
i tried so hard,
but it's just so unattainable.

you know, i think i realised something about myself these days.
i do not have a personality.

i mean, seriously.
it hit me hard, when i was trying to find out more about this person.
it's like, i always behave in a manner that will please the person i'm hanging out with.
i'm also trying so hard to please.
so freaking hard that it tires me out,
but yet i never stop.

maybe the reason as to why i never stopped
was because i didn't know how to stop.

i don't even have my own personality.
my personality is to make people around me happy,
at all costs.

what kind of personality is that?

i mean, of course i have my own values and mindset.
but to the best of my ability,
i naturally and instinctly would try to make people around me happier.

maybe that's not what others think about me.
but truthfully,
that's what i am.

but!
i'm only human.
i fail too.

no one can fully understand why,
but there are definitely people who fully misunderstand everything.


forget it.
i just hope that i don't create any more new 'enemies',
or even people who dislike me.
i really hope my 3 years in temasek polytechnic
to be the best years in my life yet.
i wanna give my best,
whether is it to play, serve, learn.
whatever it is,
i wanna give my best,
just for once.
i wanna feel what it's like to give everything.

though.
i think i'm not ready to fall.
to trip over failures,
over bad comments and judgements of me.
but i hope i'm ready to stand up once again if i ever fall.

people's opinions and impression of me has always been my weakest spot.
and that's why, i believe,
i'm most vulnerable, no matter how strong a front i may put up.

nevermind, i think.
i know my friends will be just by me. (:
like hiro, jack, grace, emily, claudine, and some others.

thanks guys!
for always being my source of solace and motivation. ;)
-hugs.


give your best in everything you do,
cause that might just be the last thing you can achieve.

i had to cab to school today.
was so worried that i might be late for tutorial.
x_x

you know, i have a feeling my commskills tutor doesn't like me.
rawr. maybe cause i always stone in her class,
and i keep holding on to my phone,
cause i'm like almost constantly messaging people.
ohwells.. i just hope she doesn't grade me down because of that.
cause i pretty much want to do well for commskills.

we had an hour break after that.
was with my class initially.
then i ended up with jonathan.
was chatting with him over some stuff.

went for econs tutorial after that.
our tutor had to give some lecture,
so we had a covering tutor.
in the end, tutorial was short;
like only 50 minutes long.

so in the end, we had another extra hour before our makeup tutorial.
so we went to cheers, library, etc etc.

business accounting tutorial.
abit .. weird.
but was okay lah.
that guy teacher doesn't smile as well,
but at least he doesn't give off this cold aura like my careperson.

after which, i went to find claudine.
nothing much luh.
was waiting for her to settle her stuff with the class,
then we walked around school and chatted.
she had to head for home so there wasn't anything much as well.

i went to hiro's place after that.
slept till he woke me up.
ate dinner then i used the computer in his mummy's room.
was settling some stuff with some people.

and tonight must be the most revelational night in my life.
i've learnt so many things, even more than before.
that there was actually someone like you capable of doing what you're doing.
that people like you don't actually just exist in drama serials.
that i actually have a first-hand experience with someone like you.

i'm very much astonished, and still in comtemplation as to why you chose this path.
personally, i believe that you have a very nice nature.
i don't know what made you this way,
but it's scary.

i care alot for you as a friend,
but i am unable to tolerate whatever you've done, and going to do.

i'm sorry i had to be that person behind the scene carrying all these out.
but i cannot afford to have myself trusting you again.
if i had been the sole victim,
i wouldn't have tried to stop you,
like how i never stopped him in the past.
but i know now i'm not the only innocent one who's involved.
i cannot have myself seeing you do those to anyone.

therefore, once again,
i apologised for having to be the one betraying this friendship.
it hurts me even if i don't seem like i am.

today started off real bad.
i kept thinking about some stuff.
kind of affected my mood throughout the tutorials.
my classmates were wondering why i look so sad/tired/un-enthu.
but yeah, i really felt upset, tired and un-interested.

i still dislike my careperson.
i've seen her for 2 hours so far,
but i've never seen her smile before.
not even a faint one.
so sickening.
and i have to be that bridge between the class and her.
rawr! i'll just push it to eden to talk to her. =p

my pom tutor is cute.
the way she talks, haha.
damn funny.
but i don't like her working style.
irritates me. =/

after that, i was supposedly meeting kok lah.
but he kind of pangseh-ed. -.-
so nevermind.
saw yeeping, claudine and darren.

then some stuff happened.
worsened my mood. x_x

buttt!
the sun always rises after a while. (:
so yah, some other stuff happened and it totally perked me up! (:

met jack later into the night.
we talked, ate dinner.
yups, and then he walked me home from school.
hahaha. we climbed over the gate cause it was locked!
so cool please.
and he brought me to this place with super nice view.
wah, damn nice place for couples please.
my next boyfriend has to be from tp!
cause he must bring me to that place at night!
hahahaha.

yups. then he sent me home.
and i passed him my guitar.

that's about all. (:

today, i left house in shorts and a shirt, initially.
but the moment i locked my gate,
darling claudine messaged me and told me she's joining the kaistor outing.
so i unlocked my gate, went back home to change into a more proper attire.

cabbed to hiro's place to meet him.
i played psp, we ordered macdonalds.
then i left and headed to habourfront.

we met then we walked around vivocity,
chatting about our usual stuff.
hahaha, so funny please.
bought some drinks from pacific cafe.
walked round the 'rooftop' of vivo,
then we happened to see the kaistor gang.
so from there, we were with them.

hmm. was pretty bothered about something throughout the thing.

started off pretty boring luh.
but after that, a group of us sat down and they started talking about their and their friends' experiences with ghost.
abit freaky ..
then the other group was trying to act out the serial show, meteor garden.
i only watched them towards the end,
but it was super funny. haha.
so many laughing scenes!

hmm. then some of us decided to cab home after that.
so i took a cab with edwin and jian xuan.
we talked about some stuff during the journey luh.
quite .. enlightening. haha.
then i dropped off first.
yepps.


that's about all for today.
nothing much.
tomorrow i have apel from 1300-1400
and then my tutorial for principles of management from 1500-1700.
no other plans.
so i think i'll go home and rot.
haha.


takecares! (:

--- -------

oh.my.gosh.

today is the happiest night in my life! :DD

you are so damn cute. ^^

all my life, i've been searching for you
and i wonder if you've found me too

lynette. lyn. thirtysevenn.
28th january 1989.
temasekpoly. tpsu. bsc.
singing. dancing.
brokenlyn37@hotmail.com

IMEEM:) for music.

belts
laptop
anything cute at all (:
more songs for me to like!

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